Mamas, we’ve all been there. Your newborn is screaming from exhaustion, and the screaming is only making the little one more tired. But your precious baby just won’t settle and go to sleep. You know they are tired and are craving some shut-eye, so what gives?
Trying to put a baby down for nap time and bedtime is exponentially harder when he or she has reached the overtired stage. Babies become overtired when they have been awake for much too long, and their bodies activate a stress response. That manifests in hysterical crying, difficulty in soothing, etc.
Below, we’ll give you tips on how to avoid getting to the “point of no return” tired stage, the signs of an overtired baby, and practical things you can do to lovingly help your overtired baby to calm down.
Signs of An Overtired Baby
Getting your little one to sleep can be hard enough. Make it a bit easier on yourself by putting your baby down for naps or nighttime sleep before he or she becomes angry and overtired.
Your baby will likely flash one, a few or all of these signs when they are tired and need a nap. Attempt to put your baby down to rest when you notice any of these sleepy cues.
- Yawning
- Rubbing eyes
- Pulling ears or pulling hair
- Staring blankly and blinking
- Reduced activity, i.e. smiling, talking, playing
- Red eyebrows
- Becoming increasingly fussy
Your little one likely won’t go from happy and content to immediately angry and overtired. That’s why it is so important to be on the lookout for sleepy cues. The following overtired signals are ones we want to avoid.
- Hysterical crying
- Arching back
- Difficult to soothe
- Lower frustration and pain threshold
- Short naps and nighttime sleep
- Random sleep (baby will fall asleep when it’s not time for a nap or nighttime sleep, ie) at mealtime, in the stroller, tummy time, etc.)
How to Prevent Baby From Getting Overtired
The answer may seem simple: prevent your baby from getting overtired by making sure your little one is getting enough sleep. Easier said than done!
The American Academy of Pediatrics and the American Academy of Sleep Medicine have guidelines for how much sleep children need at specific ages and stages in their development. The following numbers reflect total hours of sleep in a 24 hour period, including naps during the day and night time sleep.
- Infants (4 months to 12 months): 12 to 16 hours a day
- Toddlers (1 year to 2 years): 11 to 14 hours a day
- Preschoolers (3 years to 5 years): 10 to 13 hours a day
- Grade schoolers (6 years to 12 years): 9 to 12 hours a day
- Teens (13 years to 18 years): 8 to 10 hours a day
Along with sleep guidelines, there are general time frames for how long babies can tolerate being awake. This is often referred to as “wake windows,” which is the time from the moment babies open their eyes from a nap to when they fall asleep again. According to Dr. Brown’s Baby:
- Newborns (0 months to 4 months) should be awake less than 45-60 minutes
- Infants (4 months to 6 months) can be awake for 1 to 2 hours
- Older Infants (6 months to 12 months) can be awake for 2 to 3 hours
- Toddlers (12 months to 18 months) can be awake for 3 to 4 hours
- Older Toddlers (18 months to 2 years) can handle 4 to 6 hours of awake time
In practice, this would mean a newborn baby up to 4 months old will likely flash sleepy cues around the 45 to 60 minute mark after his or her last nap. After an hour, you will likely see that little one become overtired, so parents should try to put baby down for sleep before that.
These wake window benchmarks are helpful for parents to watch the clock and pre-empt their child from becoming overstimulated and stressed.
How to Settle An Overtired Baby
Despite your best attempts of following appropriate wake windows and preventing the overtired stage, babies may still become upset and hard to soothe when it is time for sleep.
To get an overtired baby to sleep, try the 5 S’s: swaddle, side or stomach, shush, swing and suck. You may have heard of this technique. It was developed by Dr. Harvey Karp, a renowned pediatrician, a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics, and founder and CEO of Happiest Baby.
In short, the goal of the 5 S’s is to create a similar environment to the womb. Remember, your baby was cozy in your belly for months. Being in the outside world can be scary and unsettling! The 5 S’s can help mimic baby’s first home.
1st S: Swaddle
While it may seem uncomfortable to us adults, babies feel secure and comforted when they are swaddled tight. When little ones were in the womb, they didn’t have much room to move around, and they prefer it that way!
Swaddles help keep babies’ arms snug and decrease the startle reflex that they are all born with. The best swaddles contain arms but keep hips flexible.
Swaddles are also great at keeping babies warm. Remember, babies should not sleep with blankets, lovies, or any other items in their cribs for the first year of life. You can try a sleep sack instead to help keep baby cozy.
If your little one is a Houdini like my daughter was, swaddle blankets just didn’t do the trick. No matter how tightly we swaddled, she somehow managed to wriggle her arms free.
Our favorite swaddles are ones with velcro or zippers that ensure a safe, comfortable fit. Happiest Baby makes the Sleepea 5-Second Swaddle, which is a fool-proof swaddle that achieves a snug fit each time – great for middle of the night changes.
An important note: babies’ arms should not be restricted once they show signs of rolling. At that point, little ones need their arms free in case they roll over. You can transition to a sleep sack, similar to the HALO Sleepsack, when your baby hits that milestone.
2nd S: Side or Stomach Position
You may be thinking, “Wait a second! I thought babies could only sleep on their backs, not their stomachs or sides.” You are absolutely correct. The back is the only safe position for sleeping.
However, when babies are awake and melting down, holding them on their side or on their stomach can help calm them down. To achieve this, you can hold your little one over your shoulder or in the crook of your arm. You should not lay them down on their stomach or side on a bed or other flat surface.
You can keep babies swaddled while briefly holding them on their side or stomach.
3rd S: Shush
While you and I may prefer to sleep in silence, or at least in a quiet environment, babies need the opposite. Remember, baby’s first home was the womb where the sound of your blood flowing was loud! Think of a shower running or a vacuum cleaner.
But not all sound is created equal. A heartbeat, ocean waves, or lullabies won’t do the trick.
The best way to mimic the sounds inside the womb is a white noise machine. There are a ton of options out there, and you don’t even need one that is specifically for a baby. Just make sure the machine can get loud.
If you are concerned the machine might be too loud, you can download an app on your phone to test decibel levels in your baby’s nursery. But again, remember the white noise machine should be as loud as a shower or vacuum.
Pro tip: get a portable white noise machine to clip onto baby’s stroller or car seat for good naps while you’re on the go!
4th S: Swing
You may be catching on by now that babies will calm down and sleep best when they feel they are transported back into the womb, and movement is key.
Inside your belly, your little one is used to being lulled to sleep by your everyday movements: walking around, going to work, exercising, etc. Ever notice how your baby seemed to be most active at night when you were trying to sleep?
In the outside world, when little ones are upset, try swinging your baby using fast movements. Dr. Karp says you should support babies’ head and neck and keep your movements small. For example, you should move no more than one inch back and forth.
These small, fast movements are different from slow rocking when your baby is cradled in your arms. And more importantly, you should never, ever shake your baby to calm them down.
You can also try a baby swing when your arms get tired!
5th S: Suck
The last S stands for sucking. If you nurse or bottle-feed your baby to sleep, you know they often relax as they are sucking and drinking.
Newborn babies are born with the need to suck, both for nourishment and non-nutritive. It’s a normal part of fetal and neonatal development, according to National Institutes of Health. Non-nutritive sucking consists of sucking fingers, pacifiers, and other objects.
Questions often arise concerning infants and nonnutritive sucking. Non-nutritive sucking consists of sucking fingers, pacifiers, or other objects.
Introducing a pacifier can help calm your little one down when overtired and fussy.
Look for Underlying Discomfort or Sickness
Sometimes, the way your baby is feeling stops them from getting restorative sleep, so they might get crankier than their next nap or bedtime and want to sleep earlier. Some of the most common causes of discomfort include teething, digestive problems, and respiratory or other illness.
Teething
On average, most babies start teething sometime between 4 and 12 months of age.
In addition to pain, teething might cause excess fussiness, difficulty feeding, and excessive drooling (which can be uncomfortable and cause a rash on your baby’s chin). Since your baby has fewer distractions at night, they are more likely to be aware of their pain.
There are a lot of ways you can soothe a teething baby and help them sleep. You can learn more about how to get a teething baby to sleep here.
Digestive Issues
Digestive problems are another reason your baby might have trouble sleeping.
In the first few months of your child’s life, he or she has an immature digestive tract that can easily become inflamed by new formula or food. Babies might also have problems like reflux or colic that make it harder for them to sleep at night.
The best thing you can do if you believe your baby has an underlying condition like colic, reflux, or a food allergy, talk to your pediatrician about how to best resolve their pain. By providing relief, your baby will be more relaxed at night and more likely to get a better night of sleep.
Illness and Infection
Respiratory illness, flu, and other types of sickness or infection might also make it harder for your baby to sleep. You should encourage your baby to sleep as much as they are willing to when they are sick- sleep is restorative and will help your baby’s body fight off their infection.
Try to soothe them as much as possible by comforting them and feed on demand- this will keep your baby hydrated.
For more advice on how to ease your baby’s specific illness, talk to their pediatrician.
How to Set Up Healthy Sleep Routines
Having an overtired baby can feel like a vicious cycle: baby is so tired that he won’t settle, which leads to increased exhaustion and so forth. Sleep deprivation can lead to difficult behavior and health problems, such as irritability, difficulty concentrating, hypertension, obesity, headaches, and depression, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.
Children who get quality sleep are healthier and have better school performance, behavior, memory, and mental health. This is why it is so important to set up healthy sleep routines early on. The AAP says the following tips can help achieve this goal.
- Make sleep a family priority. This starts with you as the parent. Remember, children, no matter how young, mimic your behavior. You are their hero! If you prioritize sleep, you are sending the right message to your children.
- Keep to a regular daily routine. Children, babies, and toddlers especially, thrive on a routine. They feel safe, secure, and comfortable. You don’t need to keep a rigid, strict schedule, but each day should follow a similar routine. For example: wake up, breakfast, playtime, snack, nap, and so on. And it is never too early to start a bedtime routine. This can be as simple as bath, book, bottle, bed, for instance. Having a consistent bedtime routine will signal to your baby that sleep is coming.
- Be active during the day. Babies will not sleep if they are not tired. So when they are awake, help them get tired enough for nap and bedtime by filling their days with stimulating activities. Read books, get outside, play games.
- Monitor screen time. The AAP advises keeping all screens, including TVs, computers, laptops, tablets, and smartphones, outside of children’s bedrooms at night. To prevent sleep disruption, it is best to turn off all screens at least an hour before bedtime.
- Create a sleep-supportive and safe bedroom and home environment. Keep the lights dim prior to bedtime. Do not fill your child’s bed with toys, especially for babies under 12 months of age. Their cribs should be bare until one year old. A child’s bed should be a place for sleep, not play.
- Do not put your baby to bed with a bottle. Similar to the tip above, the crib or bed should be sleeping. Anything in a bottle other than water can cause baby bottle tooth decay. You can bottle-feed or nurse a baby and then put him or her down to sleep.
- Do not start giving solid foods before baby is ready. A common myth is that starting solid foods sooner will help babies sleep through the night. This is not true. In fact, giving your baby solids before their bodies are ready may worsen sleep because of tummy aches. Always consult your pediatrician, but most babies start solids around 6 months of age.
- Avoid overscheduling. Just as you sleep best in your own bed, so too do babies. They will always get their most restful sleep in their own cribs. While the occasional car seat or stroller nap is fine as you are running errands, aim to have baby sleep most naps and days in their own beds.
- Learn to recognize sleep problems. According to the AAP, the most common sleep problems in children include difficulty falling asleep, nighttime wakings, snoring, stalling and resisting going to bed, sleep apnea, and loud or heavy breathing while sleeping.
Final Word About Calming an Overtired Baby
Know you are not alone if you feel you are constantly struggling to get an overtired baby to sleep. It happens to all of us.
The key takeaways are to prevent baby from getting overtired and setting up the most comfortable sleep environments, which for infants is mimicking the womb.
